Saturday, September 5, 2009

If I Were Alone...

This morning, while sitting in the bathroom starring at the empty toilet paper roll hanging from the wall and getting progressively angrier and angrier after realizing that the cupboard where the extra stash was kept was empty too, I began to ponder...

If I were alone, I would never run out of necessities since I would be the one realizing the product is nearing the end, therefore, replenishing as needed.

If I were alone, My house would always be tidy and clean because no one but I would be there to mess things up and I consider myself a fairly organized and neat person.

If I were alone, I could watch "whatever" and "whenever" I wanted, the big screen with surround sound and high def, and never be interrupted. Imagine that, full control over the remote control!

If I were alone, my utilities, especially those generated by the television and hot water (due to 20 minute showers sometimes twice a day by the same person), would decrease drastically.

If I were alone...I could decorate my gazebo any way I'd like, with all the frilly side panels and not have to worry about them being taken down the second I step out the door.

If I were alone, I would no longer feel like I just entered the aftermath of hurricane Katrina while stepping into the bathroom after a certain person finishes HIS shower.

If I were alone, there would be no more worries about "what's for dinner", since a rotisserie chicken could last me a week, thereby cutting down on my least favorite thing in the world to do known as grocery shopping.

Yes, the list goes on and on in my mind, until it is interrupted by a man walking in the door after working overtime on a Saturday morning. I begin to think as he says, "Hey, let's go out, just the two of us tonight", if I were alone...

If I were alone, I would never be waiting for someone to come through that door anymore.

If I were alone, I might just miss the sounds of the screaming crowds coming from the living room during any sporting event, from football to billiards to badminton and anything in between.

I have to interrupt this post to let you know that he just came in to inform me that we are out of toilet paper...anyway...

If I were alone, no one would be there to dart out of the house to help me unload my car of the groceries from the dreaded grocery store visit and car load of goodies from Target.

If I were alone, I would have to wait in those long, long, painful lines at the DMV which I despise and refuse to do.

If I were alone, I would absolutely, unequivocally, with no doubt in my mind, have not a single house plant. They don't like me.

If I were alone, no one would be here to put out those lame Halloween decorations claiming that the only reason he does it is because all of the daycare children love it.

If I were alone, I might miss when he gets my blankets all ready for me and my pillow fluffed after coming home from a late night of scrapbooking.

If I were alone, I would have to cut the grass and shovel snow, both of which I am not a fan and can count on one hand how many times I've done either.

So, after giving it much consideration, I've decided that I guess I am kind of lucky and blessed that things are quite balanced in my life and are much more favorable than not. After all, I really think it may get quite boring eating rotisserie chicken every night.

4 comments:

AnnaMarie Ferrell said...

Oh, Beth, I love this post. :) You're so cute. And I hate house plants, too.

Wendy Lee said...

loved reading this post Beth! I often think that too.......since the TP thing happened to me today to! ;)

Stephanie said...

Such a great post. You need to scrapbook this page...with a photo of you and Paul (and maybe a houseplant).

I love this. Thanks for cheering me up today. It's been a bad day.

jessicaj said...

I agree with everyone, great post! I don't like to cut grass or shovel either, plus I'm really bad at it. LOL